Chapter 7 Law & Order

I have seen angels dance. I have seen men dance as angels. There is Holy Spirit inspired dance. It is decisive and usually choreographed as a group. Whether a stomp or a sway there is no wasted motion or flapping about. It is measured, ordered and inspired like the beating of a drum. What I have seen has been modern dance to modern music. It inspires awe and worship. But there are many acceptable styles.

Giselle also has learned to dance recently. An angel taught her. I watched some of the practice sessions but could not see her feet as she did not want me to see her mistakes. She showed me what she was learning later .... all though not always perfect or timed it was a child like Holy Spirit rendered dance. She is mostly in the music department of heaven. Specifically in the choirs and around the throne of God. She was very proud recently to show me a song she had written. It goes like this;

Haiti loves me this I know, for my Jesus tells me so ... Little ones to him belong and I know it isn't long. Yes Haiti loves me, yes Haiti loves me, yes Haiti loves me. My Jesus tells me so.

When the Spirit is present on a man, woman or child it is a glory and a grace. When the Spirit is present on a group it is miraculous. Like the members of the body, each works in a harmony that is ordered by Christ the head and cornerstone. We may not speak to each other but God speaks to each one and each one does it's part. Nearly every week I walk in the Spirit and the message God gives then go to church and hear it again perhaps with added information that rounds out and glorifies the Father who loves and orders his children.

I've been somewhat surprised to see that my person and gifts are appreciated even in heaven. Yesterday Gabriel sat down on a rock looking somewhat dejected. We were in shadow land. I went over to see what was up because that's just me ... I go see to those in need of comfort. It seems that he feels like much less of an angel then Michael. Since Michael and I did not get off on the right foot so much we had been adapting to each other and doing well. So I sat down to talk to Gabe for awhile. He sees himself as only a messenger angel and Michael as a mightier warrior angel. But Gabriel is a fighter too. I think I made him feel better because he is an awesome angel as well. Being a messenger angel is not less then being a warrior angel. Just different.

Even more surprising then having an opportunity to comfort angels was to offer comfort to the Lord. To have him reside in my heart is great joy and comfort to him as is my quick concern over anything I say or do that might bring him offense and estrange us to each other. He is ever pleased by our love and obedience but even that is a gift of the Spirit in us and to him.

Comfort is usually accompanied by kindness. And I tend to have a horror of treating anyone unkindly. In my natural this is simply an aversion to hard feeling, bickering or quarrels and a desire for peace. I like relationships to tick along smoothly .... selfish perhaps as there is a time to fight and one must avoid the tendency to compromise. But in the Spirit, kindness is a powerful force of reconciliation and for building up others. Our Lord is deeply kind to people. and the Holy Spirit is our Comforter.

'It is the same for angels, Giselle and her gifts. She is all of joy but only as long as she is in the Spirit which is where she draws her wells of joy from. Apart from him she may drift into some form of discontent. My service to her is to relieve her of her duties and service to me and send her up to the Father where she is safe and replenished. I love her deeply and the Father more.

Chapter 6 He Sanctifies To Us

Butterfly got a new name. Algonquin. According to wikipedia Algonquin means' "they are our relatives/allies". God told me it means' "feather" (because he said so). But most of us think of the Indian tribe related to the Odawa or Ojibwe Indians. Jesus reserves the right to rename anyone if their name becomes defiled or is used as a tool for ridicule. Butterfly was named by me for Giselle because of his resemblance to a flock of migrating butterflies but some might see the name as meaning he is weak, silly or effeminate. Angels are neither male nor female but they are mighty creatures and Butterfly/Algonquin is no exception. He is terrible and beautiful at the same time and no ninny. And Algonquin is confident of who he is ... A guardian angel.

Most of us experienced unfortunate nicknames in grade school. We grew up a bit and heard the mockery directed against where we came from or who we were related to. I know my sons have resorted to some swift physical justice for anyone who had something to say about their momma. And maybe they had to sit in a principals office for a bit .... but we're thinking that the principal might have done the same thing. Let me also say that if my boys ever find themselves in a life threatening situation where they are called upon to curse me that I'd rather that, then not ever seeing them again. Christian martyrdom is a different situation all together. Still I know my boys and their love for me and that they would die for me, their wives and their children.

It is good for a man to guard and protect his home, family, the weak or helpless and country if called upon to do so. No one should shield him from that responsibility for it robs him of his purpose and what makes him a man. This is not about turning the other cheek. It is not about revenge. It is about justice and being a man. There are times when it is appropriate for a man to deal out justice in the heat of a moment and this is not being a vigilante all though it could be if society is lacking in law and order and there is the need for a Spiritual awakening.

If you are called up in such a crisis, do not get too hung up on whether you did everything just right or somehow brought some disaster on yourself. The Lord himself is the only one who endured shame, disgrace and abuse in our place without fault. The Lord was not called to take up arms but to be a sacrifice. He laid down his life for us and the atonement of our sins that we might not perish but have eternal life. There is a time for martyrdom and a time to bare arms.

Still we may find ourselves in unfamiliar places where we stumble and commit the sins of youth. I have done so. God is good and forgives us our sins of ignorance, passion or will. And he sanctifies to us our deepest distress. So that we come forth wiser and bolder in the power of the Spirit because we have learned the hard way that we cannot walk in the flesh.

But always know that the Christ will not agree with anything that has come against you that may have degraded you. He has your reputation and your humanity in his hip pocket. Remain in him and no lie formed against you will prosper. You have strength and honor. I have watched you sacrifice. I've seen you tried, tested and transformed into the likeness of Christ.

Chapter 5 Humor Happens

I am not known for being a humorist but perhaps I make up for it with an appreciation for humor and the ability to laugh at other peoples jokes. So this chapter will perhaps ring true for you .... these thoughts come from heaven to you.

In the previous chapter I referred to having the mind of Christ and his ideas being the best. He would tell you that his ideas may or may not be the best depending, since some folks think it is a better idea to have two lords and that idea seems more acceptable to them. So perhaps he is not so fond of having his ideas stolen for the purpose of some becoming wealthy. You cannot serve two masters for you will love the one and hate the other .... you cannot serve both God and mammon (money). But he is rather free with his advice to all who believe and for the glory of God.

What splendor to have your mind illuminated by Christ. He reveals beauty and order all around. He shows us things that we would not have seen on our own. But the conversation has to start somewhere ..... go ahead and ask him a question ..... if there is no answer, pursue him, love him, rest in him, pray for the Spirit to take you deeper into relationship.

So here are a few quips:

So, Jesus, how long you been around? About as long as you have.

Jesus just fixed my heart, so I asked him, "Why?" and he says; "Because I can"

Some folks come to heaven all looser ed out about their mortal bodies and there are many who tell Jesus they would like to be thin again. Jesus just says, "Well, you are what you eat." ... sometimes you gotta think about it.

Soy Lent Green is people ... and cattle too.

He likes to let the Protestants know that the Catholics are right ... they just don't know how to say it.

"I love you, love you, love you .... and I'm always thinking of you." ~God

Some people's theology just needs to change because most often they just need to love people more and love change less.

Jesus said, "I love you and I'm always thinking of you." so I asked him to tell me something new and he said, well it is new because it's new every day.

When people tell Jesus that they hope their sins are forgiven he puts his arm around their shoulders and says, "they are if you want them to be."

Chapter 4 The Humor Of Heaven

There is much that is sad on this earth that dissipates in heaven. God is the source of all good humor and the laughter of Jesus and his children echos across the valley. This is now the fifth day of Christmas. I did not write anything on the fourth day because it was too full of life's woes. Some things are unspeakably sad and should not be remembered anymore unless perhaps as a cautionary tale. Or as a hallelujah of deliverance, mercy and grace.

The sum of life's woes can all be traced to the fall and much sadness exists because of man's sin and abuse of creation and a return to chaos and disorder. Let me say to my family that I love you. We have each had our share of grief. Some things are too private or painful to tell. I believe that Jesus would say; "My children, your sins are forgiven and that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus .... go and sin no more." And what can we say in the face of such mercy and grace but; "Yes, Lord" .... then walk with and in him through our deliverance. All that has been repented of is water under the bridge and can be remembered against us no more.

But on to peace and joy. I cannot tell you how happy I am to have all my children here this Christmas. My boys and their wives and their children. Especially my son Lieutenant (Junior Grade) Jesse Bird, who has been away from us these last two and a half years in the Navy. Well they are all here except for the orphans. Last summer I went to Haiti as voluntary aid after the 2010 earthquake that hit Port A Prince. I went looking for a child ... a girl child, since there are more orphans now then before.

I found Samira in an orphanage in Chambrun, Haiti. She is six. We named her Samira Maere Paloma and were told that it might take nine to eighteen months to finalize an adoption. It has been two months since we received this word and God told me to buy her Christmas presents and make other necessary preparations .... well actually he told me to make preparations for two little girls and a baby down the road. I have inquired about a second child named Sandy but have heard nothing back on that score. Still we gave her the name Olivia Morganne Claire.

So here we are in our peace and joy of being together but our circle is not complete because Haiti is a sad place in many ways and these little ones are there and suffering. And so we send our prayers across the distance because there are no boundaries for God in heaven for his Spirit goes out everywhere. I cannot help thinking what joy they will have coming into our home. I nearly dropped and kissed the ground on my return from Haiti. So then much joy flows from sorrow. If I had never lost Giselle I would not have had Jesse or these girl children .... and over all I have had the profound joy of reconnecting with my child in heaven. I am not one who weeps at the drop of a hat. But I have cried more emotional, and thankful, happy tears over seeing my baby girl child then I have shed in a lifetime. God never takes anything away from us that he does not restore to us many times over ..... I have plans to look for more children to adopt in the future. There are many grandmothers who have taken in children.

While our home is a place of laughter and it is good to see my sons joking together, I have been more than surprised and amused to find so much fun and laughter in Zion. Jesus himself has rather a rye wit. Democrats who arrive in heaven find out that Jesus is a Republican and the Republicans find out that he is a Democrat and that much of what they thought of the seriousness of heaven is rather turned on it's head. But he is pro life and he does care about social justice and being green too.

Imagine him cutting up and hanging out with twelve other guys that he was deeply fond of. He was of heaven and earth and full of mirth and joy. He is deeply interested in everyone and accepting of our mortality .... no child of his ever feels ugly in his presence. Just deeply cared for .... and his ideas! Pray for the mind of Christ. I consult him whether planning a meal or art project. He is brilliant.

While Jesus is more then I expected, the archangel Michael is different then I expected. His humor was somewhat slapstick ... a constant charade game. This confused me at first but I was told that he is a mighty angel and does not reveal his complete glory so that man will not be tempted to fall down in worship. I appreciated the archangel Gabriel immediately but Michael was something of an acquired taste for me. But I have come to love him deeply. Michael is a warrior angel and a defender of God's people. He and Gabriel have kept me from much harm by the Lord's command. But Michael has adapted to my sense of humor some. He reflects my sons sense of humor more and I now find him to be quite funny. Tackling the opposition he will cast me a sidelong glance, briefly shrug his eyebrows as if to say; "How was that for ya."

Then there is Giselle. She is every darling thing I have ever seen in a child. Her inflections and mannerisms she tells me she has picked up from older children who have come to heaven. It is as though she exists for my pure delight.

...to be continued

Chapter 3 Travellers

On the second day of Christmas my daughter gave to me a room to sleep in Zion. Today is the third day of Christmas and I have tried it out and it is sweet. Thank you Jesus. It may not seem like much until you have spent near sleepless nights or had rude awakenings from terrible dreams .... the dreams going on after you have woken. My troubled sleep has been a symptom of a troubled brain these last four and a half years. My brother died an infant just before I was conceived and formed in the belly of my grieving mother marking me as dreamy little artist child .... easily rocked by life's swell and tempest. All though her grief marked my little brain I was considered a great comfort and the first born in my family.

Losing Giselle at the end of my first trimester was a grief I observed until, as an answer to my prayers, I conceived her brother Jesse upon her due date. I always feel a mixture of loss and compensation over these events of birth and death and .... loss and gifting. Jesse's connection to his sister was often on my mind as I carried him carefully to term and rocked him and the babe in heaven together.

Jesse was a source of great comfort also and the second born, the first being his brother Joshua who was three and a half years his senior. Josh was a melancholy but funny kid. We thought of him as the lawyer in the family as he always had a reason, argument or some defense to render. He was curious too. Jesse was all action and few words. He grew up to be a man who weighed seriously any advice but with a solid sense of humor.

Neither pregnancy was marked by any negative emotion much, but my third pregnancy was spent with a good bit of anxiety over some serious financial losses .... where we would live and what we would do. And lo and behold I gave birth to another dreamy little artist child ... easily rocked by life's swell and tempest and prone to anxiety as well.

I have sent up many prayers to the Father for my third son Caelen .... such that, by the cross, would break any inheritance of the sins of the fathers. He is doing well and so am I. Jesus comes along side and we learn to comfort with the comfort we have received. Then finally there was my fourth child Jonathan. I spent many months in depression before conceiving him on Mother's Day .... God had favored me and I spent that pregnancy much comforted and yet he was born with the cord wrapped round his neck and the symptoms of ADHD, but with a great sense of humor and the ability to lead.

So these are my children .... all five. But I digress. We were talking about Zion and a good nights rest .... and the dearly departed. Before you go rushing off trying to find your way there fellow traveller I would give you a map to Zion so that your sleep would be sweet and perhaps you will be comforted for you cannot take just any route .... there is only one.

Do not directly try to contact the dead for there are many deceiving spirits .... they are of the unholy and wish to lead you further astray and into profound confusion and torment. The only route to Zion and to the Father is through repentance and faith in the atoning work of the risen Son. It was he who said, I am the resurrection and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me. And those who die in the Lord are alive in him. They are safe in Zion a city that takes up no space at all and yet is as endless as the souls, dreams and memories of it's citizens. And there is humor .... they know something of the sadness of earth but with the perspectives of heaven .... Just wait, they will tell you and it will all be worthwhile.

So, you may say, you understand the gospel and know and hold to it's message as a promise here and now to you and your children after you and in the days to come but you have never been caught up to Zion in body or soul. And perhaps there are dearly departed waiting there for you and you would travel there to see and know something of what is waiting there. Let me confess that I did not go looking for Zion or for Giselle. It came to me. I think because someone prayed that I would be helped and Jesus named my daughter "help". But once I knew there was a route to Zion I needed to return. And I found that the only way for me to travel there was in the Holy Spirit. Through repentance of and remission of sin, praise and worship he comes to inhabit us. We lose out of his presence when we allow an evil spirit to take hold through some complaint or other evil emotion.

At first I could go no further then the hills around Zion. Jesus and Giselle would meet me there ... she holds his hand. I could hear my families voices too. The hills are the bad lands that end at the foot of Zion. Here we are subject to evil spirits that wish to provoke us into strife or in some other manner to shame or degrade us. Standing as close to Jesus here or anywhere outside of Zion is a place of refuge and safety for your mortal soul and body, for demons can even cause physical complaint and they ever probe for some breach where they might gain a foothold to separate us from the Father. I am learning to stay close and in touch by the minute .... it is a rest for my soul.

Giselle is not immune to attack outside of Zion. She is a human soul who all though no longer mortal takes the shape of a child in my mind. She resembles me and her Aunt Ruth and most often appears wearing a pink smocked dress and brown mary jane shoes. Her greatest capacity is for joy. I understand that this is because she would have been somewhat sad in her life on earth. My greatest capacity is for peace ... I have lived with my share of unrest and so the Spirit turns us around. Together we have the peace and joy of Christ which wells up in us and to each other.'

I am careful with her though. Not wanting to taint her with life's sin and trouble. I stay close to Jesus so that I will not offend her. This has only helped me ... so she has helped. And she prays for me ... sometimes she needs my prayers .... those in Zion need no prayers and she is there most of the time. It has cost her some personal peace to meet me in shadow land. She tells me that she has always been aware of me from the time she entered heaven and could look down to where I was, crying on the bathroom floor.

It was Jesus who asked her, one day, how she would like it if she could help her mommy. Jesus has a way of giving us choices but really no choice because we can generally tell which is the right choice and so Giselle was all for being mommy's helper. We are compatible .... neither of us actually takes a leading role. We are companions. Her childlike ways make my heart glad. She does ordinary things like kicking stones down a path, or cleaning up ... setting a table. These are the things she would have done as a child in my home. And she does everything with such heart and determination. Confidence too. There, I have pleased and embarrassed her.

Chapter 2 Audrey Hope

Another little one has imposed upon my times with Giselle. She is Audrey Hope. I'm told she is another unborn child. Her mommy is busy with a family, school and job and does not have time to come up here so Audrey calls me, "mommy" .... Giselle finds her mildly annoying since she is still very young and doesn't know quite how to behave. She knocks over blocks and toys and toddles about and wants to be just like Giselle. Every now and then Jesus picks her up and takes her back to heavens nursery. It is where earthly mommies come to rock their lost babies. I ask Giselle what we should give little Audrey for Christmas and Giselle has agreed to have her live in the Christmas Cottage with her. Audrey bends over and pretends to toot sugar plums and peppermints then dances a child like stomp through the sparkles.

So today, during my walk and talk with Giselle I hear a little voice, "Mommy .... it's Awdrey." I reply, "Yes, honey?" .... "No, AWDREY!" ... Giselle leans over to whisper to her that "honey is a word like sweetheart." Audrey begins to whimper for my attention. I toss her up to Jesus ... I do the same with Giselle or myself when we are feeling needy. Afterwards I take Audrey on my lap and into my heart. This is tricky. I pray to give Christ his proper place and love these little ones with the love of the Lord ... it is so easy to see a source of love as the source of love. It is less of a problem when we are in Zion for it is the presence of the Lord and there our hearts are glad and there is no want or loss for love. But here on the outskirts or that place where we meet somewhere between heaven and earth there are ugly things that try to impose upon our time together. And so we pray for the presence of the Lord and for all his holy angels. I have met Michael and Gabriel ... Giselle's angel which she shares with me. We named him Butterfly. He is covered all over with wings. When he is in flight he is nearly transparent and when he lands the wings close and he is visible and still as medieval stone. Sometimes all we see of him is something like the breast and wing of a swan, feathers extended. He has a special concern for the creation and does not like to see it suffer ... for God cares for the peoples of the nations and the many cattle too. I eat less meat now because it seems to grieve him .... man's survival hinges much on the groaning of the earth ... we see it in Passover and the crucifixion ... the sacrificial system .... there will be no death in the new heavens and the new earth.

Then there is Agnus. I went looking for him and found him to be The Ancient of Days. All the wisdom of the ages rests upon his shoulders. He is The Angel of the Lord (the Christ) for his symbol is the lamb. He carries a sword and is chaste and stern. He guards the purity of God's people, for they are his. But I see Jesus mostly relaxed and happy .... throwing his arm around one of the redeemed or romping with the children. His voice full of the Spirit blesses me .... "I am your Lord and Savior." My heart is healed and I brim with gratitude ... for me, for my children and for folks in general.

All holy angles rely and depend upon the Lord for their strength and purpose. They are compelled to action by the prayers of God's people and the resulting word of the Father. They live to honor and serve God and his children. They are earnest and helpful but shy of praise and worship for these were the beginning of the fall of the archangel Lucifer and his angelic followers. O to be among the heavenly angels ... to serve before the presence of God and to ever behold his face and favor. And yet we are God's counterpart .... his special creation .... the ones for whom he died.

Christmas With Giselle Chapter 1

Santa came late yesterday morning. Which means that I ran out of time Christmas Eve to do just everything and my son was up early. I fought the urge to feel rushed and a little cross that not all my i's were dotted or my t's crossed. It is the Lord's birthday after all. I filled stockings for my family and the orphans which did not come. Opened Christmas presents with David and Jonathan. Made up beds from the company of the previous week. My navy boy and his wife. It has been two and a half years since I have seen Jesse and a year since visiting with Gabrielle. It was good.

Finally I sat down to see Giselle. There she is in my minds eye. Darling child. A memorial poinsettia sits in the pot on my dining room table. I close my eyes and begin to send her Christmas presents .... the finest I can imagine. A thatched roof cottage with a mill stream and stone walls. There are sheep and a pony with a little cart. Cherry trees bloom through a snow storm. The snow flakes are so large you can see each one as under a magnifier. There is a snow man ..... a frozen pond appears where she skates and a flock of swans swim .... I did not think it but there it is. Over a cliff there is the ocean where conch and sea shells can be gathered ... turn the page and she has a tree house.... not everything exists in the same space but can be recalled ... just to think it is to be there.

Inside the house is a German Christmas Tree with candles and cherubs hanging the icicle ornaments. There is a crackling fire and a rocker like the one in my living room. Under the tree are presents. The most special for her is a doll house. Like Alice she can shrink and walk from room to room. The animated dolls are members of her family. She dances in a circle with Caelen, Samantha and Norelei. She has several dolls of me from the time I was a child to my present age. She clasps her hands to her little heart and falls over backwards .... it is the best Christmas she has ever had ... the first with her mommy in heaven. We talk about how the doll house should be decorated and Jesus decides that we can turn pages and have any design we want, at any given time.

Back in the cottage she decides that she wants my Longaberger Pottery, Ironstone and Canton China in the cupboards. She has a closet full of clothes and decides she wants to be a ballerina in a pink tutu. I hand her a book from my childhood and then fill up a library for her of all my childhood favorites .... Sherlock Holmes, Winnie The Pooh, The Book House Collection, Peter Pan .... she opens a book and the story unfolds like animation. I pretty much cry through everything .... because it's beautiful .... because I'm sorry we were parted .... but glad she is where she is. I'm crying because all though her life is in glory she still wants to be with me ... she wants us, her family to be where she is so that her joy will be complete.

So what does Giselle give to me? Sometimes when I feel weary I hear her little voice saying, "Mommy, Jesus loves you and so do I." And so to you dear reader, "Jesus loves you and so do I."

And to you dear Jesus .... "I love you too".

Hello Sandy

God gave me a name for you. It just felt right and none other would do. Your name Sandy is the Scottish derivative of the Italian name Sandra which is the short form of Alessandra or the English Alexandra. It means defender of mankind. We also understand sandy as a soil that we find most commonly beach side. But this name I give to you as a gift; Olivia Morganne Claire.

'

Olivia is Latin for olive. Morganne is Welsh for the sea. Claire is Latin for bright. The metaphor that I see for you is of the dove with olive branch that flew out from the ark and over the waters seeking a place of rest. She is a symbol of the Holy Spirit and a sign of peace. Like a lighthouse by the sea she sends out a light to guide storm tossed sailors into harbors of rest. Out of your own troubles and chaos you will find a place of solid ground .... the Rock of Ages. And you will be a light ... a city upon a hill drawing men to God and to that Rock.