Attar Of Roses

Last night I settled down to sleep in Zion .... my daughter Giselle had made a place for me there. As I closed my eyes I realized I was not in my room at the Christmas House. The walls had turned from yellow to warm pink. This startled me but the Lord was there. "What is this?" I asked. "It is what I have prepared for you." He said. I could see only in a dream state but the scent of fresh rose petals registered in my brain. I wanted to breathe deep. A chandelier sparkled overhead, along with candles, they cast a warm glow. There were Queen Anne chairs by a table covered in gold leaf. At the foot of my bed was a wading pool with lotus beside a large and heavy branched tree .... I was dressed in floating garments of cocoa and persimmon.... It is so different from my Christmas Cottage, which actually is much closer to where I live now. It surprised me some .... gold leaf after all .... I thought I was more simple ..... But it felt right .... He told me I was of the earth ... My bed was like being enfolded in the center of a rose .... I thought of Thumbelina asleep in her walnut shell. Some are of earth, some wind, some fire and others water. I do not exist so comfortably in the other elements. But we can change somewhat depending on who our friends and family are.

My sister is wind .... boisterous. Her mansion is by the water ... I caught a glimpse of furniture made of driftwood .... my son Jon is water ... I saw no walls to his mansion but waterfalls and wide open spaces for adventure and conquest. He waved to me before diving in. In the depths of Zion you can breathe as though you came equipped with gills. There are caves and seaweed ... anemones and Japanese pearl divers. My son Jesse is in the Navy yet he is not water but fire. Fire consumes and is just. It is warm and golden. There is fireside too. Hearth and home. His wife Gabrielle is water. But not like Jon's .... In her world, water carries her and sunlight sparkles on it.

No ones world is exactly like another ... Samantha is sometimes earth and sometimes air. In her world I smell gardenias ... not roses. Stepping outside of my room there is another large tree and a rose garden .... the Lord did not want to show me more at present. It waits for my homecoming. I would like to go there but for now I have children coming home.

P.S. dear family .... for those of you who are left wondering how I might define you, Caelen is earth and fire .... of the ground and nature with a love for home .... Josh, like Jon is water, ready for unchartered territory. Amanda is earth ... but more shades of green .... ready for rest. Giselle is air and has a tree house with tree frogs. David is earth .... very basic. Samura, like me is earth. She has golden yellow roses ... very royal. Norelei is earth and air and has a forest with owls ... James and Lauren have a Narnia world. James is air and Lauren earth. Asher is a water baby.

Bezalel & Oholiab

Then Moses said to the Israelites, "See, the Lord has chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts -- to make artistic designs for work in wood in gold, siver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood and to engage in all kinds of artistic craftsmanship. And he has given both him and Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, the ability to teach others. He has filled them with skill to do all kinds of work as craftsmen, designers, embroiderers in blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen, and weavers -- all of them master craftsmen and designers....

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Then Moses summoned Bezalel and Oholiab and every skilled person to whom the Lord had given ability and who was willing to come and do the work. They received from Moses all the offerings the Israelites had brought to carry out the work of constructing the sanctuary.

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I have been collecting resources to take back to Haiti to help Ismaelle and her momma and perhaps some other skilled people to make some beautiful things with their hands. I would like to see some of these things displayed somewhere up on a wall or on counters so that folks (like our volunteers) may be able to purchase these items. Chambrun also has some computers and may be able to sell these products on line.

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I'm also thinking to return this summer and hope to have Samura settled here before then. I have been collecting some clothing for Samura. All this clothing will be donated to Haiti when she outgrows it except for winter clothes which will go to a local charity. All of this preparation has gone on credit which I hope to pay down with tithe money as well as my return expenses to Haiti. Your donations are welcome if you would like to partner with me.

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I would also like to see Chambrun with a good size garden and farmers market. The soil in Haiti is depleted and needs to be built up. Our back yard has much dense clay so we compost. We are digging a new garden section this spring. Every left over scrap of anything from our kitchen or small yard debris goes into a compost pile behind our house. Not only has this enriched the soil but has fed the birds and squirrels through the winter. The birds are quite happy with the worms that enrich the decomposing scraps. You can compost anything but meat and dairy products ... coffe grounds & filters, tea bags, banana peels, egg shells, vegetable and fruit peels. Soon the garden soil becomes very rich. There is more compost information online. God is ever a wonderful resource as well.

Timmy

A Screenplay

by Melanie R. Bird

Timmy Milano has Downs Syndrome. He is the second son and the third child of an Italian family in Northern New Jersey. His father owns a fish market. His mom is a wife to her husband and a mother to her children. His older brother, Johnny is a music professor at Julliard. He and his older sister Carolyn help their father Johnny Senior at the fish market after school along with Johnny's partner Danny and son Andy (who are African American). Timmy's youngest sister, Jen helps out some too.

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Timmy's mom and dad have a tender concern for him. He will always have a job at the fish market. His sister Carolyn watches out for him at work. He takes his job seriously and greets all customers.

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Carolyn and Andy have grown up together. As they work through their teen years the two show signs of romantic feelings on the job. All though initially surprised, Danny and Johnny Senior have nothing against the couple becoming attached.

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Enter Christy, a young and vivacious friend from school. She is something of a flirt and does so with Andy. Andy goes out with Christy and has a really good time, Then comes back to work and is romantic with Carolyn too. It isn't long before Christy shows up at the fish market and Carolyn realizes that Andy has two girl friends. Danny is not happy with Andy.

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A crushed Carolyn, later finds her dad and asks if she can continue to work at the market on alternate days from Andy. Dad agrees and time goes by. Carolyn and Andy go off to separate colleges. They return and accidentally run into each other at the market. Tired of being second string in Christy's social circle, Andy has long since stopped seeing the girl. Carolyn is rather non committal in her reaction to Andy .... Andy thinks he wants her back. Timmy is the awkward and seemingly "out of it" presence to the drama around him.

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Meanwhile Johnny Jr. is interested in a young African American co-worker named Halle. Larry is also interested in Halle. Halle likes Johnny a lot but when it comes down to making a choice she goes for Larry. Johnny doesn't feel so good, and is frustrated over being single.

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Now back to Andy. He begins to pursue Carolyn. At first Carolyn is stand offish but eventually agrees to go out with Andy. After a few dates, they are a couple again, but it is not long before they run into Christy while they are out and about. Andy is still obviously attracted to Christy. This causes a major snag in his relationship to Carolyn. She shuts Andy out. Andy is left kicking himself that he has blown his second chance with Carolyn .... the woman that he actually wants. He has a conversation with his dad. Danny tells him that he understands what it's like to be distracted by a skirt. And that it's a problem that may never go away. But that he commits every day to loving just one woman ... and that woman has forgiven him ... and maybe he forgave her once or twice too. Andy is reflective and tells his dad that he really would like to get serious about Carolyn .... Timmy stands by blinking and nodding.

Our Lady of Delaware

A Screenplay

By Melanie R. Bird

Emma's parents died when she and her brother were very young. The children went to live with their aunt and uncle. Some time later her uncle dies as well. These losses impressed Emma in such a way that she came to see life as something that was very hard. She did not expect much from it. Once she graduated high school she attended University of Delaware. Fast forward to her senior year with her roommate Jen.

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Jen Milano (Jeniffer Anistan) is the youngest child of an Italian family from Northern New Jersey. She transferred to UD after an unfortunate college romance. As the baby of the family she is used to much attention .... Emma needs very little. Jen enjoys being with Emma because she remains the center of attention. Emma loves Jen and does not feel the need to compete with her.

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Enter Peter, a young man headed for the ministry. He meets Jen and Emma but is drawn particularly to Emma. Jen loves both Emma and Pete. It seems that they often end up hanging out. Pete sees Jan as someone with needs while Emma requires very little. Emma sees her role with Pete as a helpful one. She believes in his calling and is happy to focus on him and his future. Once they are engaged and Pete has Emma by his side he focuses more on his future too. While Emma is his future wife, Jen is something of a parishioner .... he is a shepherd.

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This begins to be something of a problem for Emma. She tries to draw a boundary line on her relationship to Pete and gently let Jen know that she cannot be the third wheel. Pete ignores the boundary line and one evening ends up going home with Jen. This occurs because they attend a party where Pete begins to drink a bit too much. Emma tries to encourage him to leave but he shrugs her off. After Pete makes an off color joke, Emma decides to head home. Jen offers to help Pete home and they make out before heading back to their apartments.

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The following morning, Jen lies to Emma about the previous night. They head out to classes and meet up with Pete. Emma senses that Jen and Pete are friendlier then usual and then realizes that Jen has lied to her. She stops as Jen and Pete continue, then turns abruptly, walking rather blindly across the sidewalk, over a curb and into the street where she is hit by a car.

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Later in a hospital bed with a broken collar bone, she is visited by Jen. Jen is cute but self centered. She doesn't quite yet realize the extent to which she has hurt her friend. Emma turns her face to the wall. She has nothing left to give Jen ... or Pete for that matter. A sobered Jen retreats to the library for some self examination and a good bit of self reproach. One of the professors, Greg Hughes (Hugh Laurie) observes her distress. He has always liked Jen but respects the student / teacher boundaries. He is thoughtful and kind. He helps Jen overcome a good bit of her momentary self hatred without negating her need to change.

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Pete also has visited Emma and received his ring back. Emma is not an arrogant person. She is simply someone who is easy to take advantage of. She takes up very little space. She is collected by her aunt and returns home to convalesce. They have a beach house. Emma and her brother hang out some .... he loves his older sister and thinks she ought to know that it is okay to receive sometimes.

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Jen and Pete care deeply about Emma and no longer see each other. Greg and Jen do begin to see each other after graduation. Pete heads over to see Emma one more time. He is met at the door by the auntie. Aunt Grace steps out to talk with him on the porch. She wants him to understand that Emma is not the kind of person that asks for anything. She wants him to know that if he is going to be with Emma he will have to look for ways to take care of her. Pete concedes that he was being ignorant but he would like another chance to make it up to Emma. Aunt Grace steps aside and Pete steps into the room to be with Emma who is seated by a sunny window. Coming up beside her, hat in hand, he asks her for another chance to be there for her. Emma is silent for a moment, then asks Pete to pass her reading book on the table.

The Problem of Pain

There are all types of pain. A person in pain should talk to someone. Some folks are rather public with their pain. Some say nothing at all. The problem with every0ne knowing about your grief is too much talk. Not everyone knows how to comfort. I know that, for myself, I generally talk to very few people if any, when I have a problem. Some well intentioned consolation is clumsy and cuts like a knife. I shy away from added pain. So I am quiet.
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The times I was actually helped through grief were almost unexpected. This is what I have learned from my comforters;
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1. Some sorrows require expressions of sympathy .... others require that we mind our own business.
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2. If approached, listen quietly and thoughtfully. The person in pain may need to unburden themselves. Don't jump to "fix" the situation.
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3. If you have experienced a similar grief you may know what to say like no one else does. If you have not, then simply let the person know that you care and so does Jesus. Offer to be available if they need to talk again.
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4. Let your friend know that you will not repeat anything they have confided in you ... and don't ... not even to a spouse without permission.
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5. Love and pray for them.

Bad Company

Bad company corrupts good character. If your eye causes you to sin gauge it out and if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better to enter heaven maimed then to enter hell all in one piece. We may have trouble forgiving but we can also be tolerant of evil. Sometimes in order to live a life close to God we have to live separate from a temptation.

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This could be person, place or thing. Some one, some place or some thing has entangled us in some form of compromise. These things are not evil in themselves. They simply have been the source of some past or current indulgence. Or it may actually be a person we are unable to deal with. Someone who is abusive or knows how to push our buttons .... a perpetually negative, bitter, gossiping or seductive individual. Certainly we should not leave the door wide open for this person to sin against us again and again in a rather lame and misguided belief in forgiveness. Nor should we weakly allow a tempting situation to continue. If we can get out, we should. What do we do when it seems that we cannot get out fast enough?

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All I know is that the scriptures promise that there is no temptation that has seized us which is not common to man and that God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can endure. He can provide a way out. We can trust that. His Spirit can give us peace in the interim. He is also a God of justice. He sees every wrong visited upon one of his children. Like the blood of Abel these wrongs call for retribution. And in this world there have been some heinous sin. The blood of Christ speaks a better word .... perhaps there is even forgiveness for Cain .... but not before repentance.

Comfort Ye

I made tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches tonight. Since I have become almost a vegetarian it is the closest I come to comfort food. Here on the east coast I believe that comfort food must be largely regulated to the winter months. Something about the grey days and the cold discomfort that begins when we set bare feet to cold floor boards and continues throughout the day till we stand over a warm stove and a simmering pot in the evening .... I like clam chowder too. The New England variety.

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Discomfort is not only regulated to the physical but to the soul as well. I think particularly of our sins and errors. Long cold days of consequence convicting the heart and conscience .... guilt whether real or imagined. I remember the pains and purgatories of my past. I remember being sorry and then some. I remember not being able to take it back. I remember not being able to stop saying I was sorry in my prayers ... like a nervous tick or broken record. This was the time and place for comfort. It was Jesus who knew my wrongs ... it was Jesus who paid the price for my sin and set the communion table with his own body and blood .... comfort food .... it is his right and good pleasure to forgive and absolve.

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I cringe for the fallen .... I know it had to hurt. Something inside me feels the pain that I know they will feel ... if not now, then later. I am not for short cuts .... rushing to console before a true conviction of sin. But I would wish to be the one setting you down at my table when you are ready to come home.