Privates

There are many subjects we deem inappropriate for general conversation .... politics and religion .... personal finance or personal anything. But now and then there comes along someone who thinks they are entitled to know what your personal something is. Maybe they are ... maybe they aren't ... depending.

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Some information we keep private because it will incite riot. Toss out some bit of information and instantly people are polarized over an issue ..... there is a place for debate but not necessarily in your general day to day conversations. There also is a place of peace ... it is found in Christ but that is a topic for another day. Any way I am rather free with my opinions here.

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Now anyone may read my blog. This is my forum to state my views. And I have not run into any argument. Perhaps because I am well with in my boundaries and my blog is marked "personal". If someone were to come to my blog and leave rude or controversial comments they would be the one crossing boundaries. I do not mind disagreement but I will not stand to be bullied on my own turf. To retreat would just simply be milk toast.

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But even though this blog carries my personal opinions on the spiritual life and personal testimony there is much that is not said. One of the problems made when an individual gives a personal testimony is too much detail. Sometimes I watch these Curb Appeal and Home Stagier TV programs. One of the common bits of advice given by the realtor to the seller is that the home must not be too personal .... so family photos are taken down .... bathroom toiletries are cleared from counters .... toys and clutter are put away. The home is then staged to look "move in ready". The buyers can more easily imagine themselves moving into this space because all personal trace of the actual owners has been removed.

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This is much like how a personal testimony functions. If it carries too much detail the listener or buyer is distracted or even repelled. They cannot own or relate to your story .... either they think you have done unspeakable things that you should forever feel guilty or ostracised for or they think that your conscience is much too sensitive and your testimony a bit ridiculous. You, the teller or seller are setting out a stumbling block that keeps the listener from being able to relate to your story. They cannot place themselves into your space .... they cannot connect with your God through your testimony.

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Or perhaps your story is widely known and anyone may find out about it. The Apostle Paul dealt with both types of testimony. It was widely known that Paul once Saul had persecuted the church. People died and he was responsible. It was while he was on the road to Damascus, a mission to arrest early Christians, that the risen Christ knocked him off his horse and changed his course forever. Of his former life, Paul says he was forgiven on account of his ignorance and repentance. He thought by persecuting the Christians he was doing the work of God. Once he realized his error he worked harder then anyone to pursue the right course. Paul was saved by the grace of God but his repentance was proved genuine by his actions.

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On another occasion Paul writes of his "thorn in the flesh". He testifies to the purpose of some great trial in his life but does not specify. There is wide speculation about what exactly this thorn was. The most commonly held opinion was that it was an eye disease. But because it is ambiguous nearly anyone can move into his testimony and own it. It has brought comfort and instruction to many.

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Refraining from giving too much detail in a personal testimony is also an act of self protection. We are not called to bring up our sins over and over for repeated review or judgement. If Christ has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west and remembers them no more then all that is left to say is that we are cleared in the eyes of God ... we bear our sins no more and we are free of guilt. I once heard the testimony of a former communist and persecutor who had become a Christian. Since I was the editor of the church news paper Cross Culture it was suggested that I interview him for the next publication. So I did. His response was to say that he did not wish to dwell on his past and his greatest shame .... he would rather talk about what God was doing with him now. Rehashing past failures can encourage spiritual depression. Even if those failures have been forgiven we may still carry a deep sense of shame.

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This air of privacy is completely valid and appropriate. For others to invade that privacy is just wrong. And here I am not speaking of legal issues. Legalities have to do with the facts and what was actually said and done and if laws have been broken. Intention is taken into consideration in the legal realm when sentence is being handed down. But I am speaking to the spirit and to moral law which includes the obedience to world government in most situations.

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Yet sometimes privacy is not about the past but the present. We are in the middle of a terrible grief or struggle and we have not yet arrived on the other side. We do not yet have perspective or testimony. This is where events are unfolding and we should not be going it alone. We need godly and private counsel. Certainly we have God but he brings others alongside to help us. Is everyone involved? It's not generally a good idea .... too many cooks. But perhaps one or two wise individuals who are concerned enough to pray for us, tell us the truth and help us remove anything that is hindering us from reaching our full potential. And don't think that the one in trouble is the only one benefiting from this "help" ... we are all learning ... we are all in need of correction. He will clothe the contrite. Do not fear shame or disgrace.

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Privacy is however an inadequate cloak for continued sin. There is nothing that will not be made known. And God has a way of ripping the covers off hypocrisy. Confessing sin is a big step toward forsaking that sin. As a general rule we should be confessing our own sins ... there is nothing more annoying then someone confessing our sins before we have a chance ... I think it's called accusation, deflection or maybe gossip. There is a process for rebuking a brother or sister which is too often ignored. The first step is to speak to the offender privately and directly. If there is not resolution the next step is to have a witness or two present. If there is still no resolution then it is brought up before the church. If even yet there is not a resolution the guilty party is put out of the church membership. Yet so many people do this backwards. This is no light matter. To be outside the church is to be numbered among the disobedient and unbelievers ... it is the realm of Satan. It is not a healthy or happy place. Working this system backwards can also arouse great hostility and chaos.

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Can just anyone approach us about anything? No. There is such a thing as a busy body. In the church, however we have shepherds or elders. These are wise men recognized and appointed by the church to have spiritual supervision over the flock. Usually a shepherd/pastor/elder oversees a smaller group within the congregation. This group and their elder are encouraged to know one another so that if the need arises the people have a "go to guy". There are also those with in the church who are gifted with the ability to counsel. Even in these instances their are checks and balances and accountability to avoid the pitfalls of too much intimacy.

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Most of us go for regular check ups to a doctor where we may bring up any little symptoms we may be experiencing. Usually a nurse is present to assist the doctor and patient and to ensure that everything is done properly. She is also a witness in case of criminal accusation. This doctor is usually knowledgeable enough to understand the root cause of the patients symptoms. So it is with a wise and godly counsellor. They will be able to help you finger the cause of your problem and work with you compassionately and respectfully towards a cure. Going it alone with our problems is a significant risk with significant consequences. Even the Lone Ranger had Silver and Tonto.