Caelen

Dear Caelen,

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Happy 25th Birthday today. Looking at you for me is in some ways like looking into a mirror. Your sensitivity and responsiveness to spiritual things, artistic bent and perfectionist soul are characteristics we share. We have so many common interests and I enjoy watching you develop your skills, discussing art, scripture (skateboarding) or gardening or maybe heading off to an art museum with you at the drop of a hat. I would tell you what has brought me such comfort in my life as one perfectionist to another ..... Jesus loves sinners .... the blood is on the doorpost ..... there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Forgive as you have been forgiven.

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The exact meaning of your name is unclear. Caelen is Celtic and derived from Colin which is a French derivative of Nicholas. I understand that it means a young hound, bloodhound or a youth. Seth was the replacement child of Adam & Eve after the martyrdom of Abel. He was the father of a race of godly men and women. But I chose your name for beauty sake and as a nod to our Scotch Irish ancestry. It suits you. I could just have easily named you Patrick or Padraic. I have always loved St. Patrick. Proof that a Presbyterian can be a mystic but he was also a man with a sensitive conscience who felt a deep gratitude and indebtedness to his Savior. Like Patrick you have the soul of an evangelist and a love for the common man. You rub shoulders easily with the down and out ... lost sheep. You despise arrogance and pride all though to your personal aggravation you find these things in your own heart.

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You are a hard working man ... and this from the teenager voted by his peers as the most likely to be absent on a Monday! Your father and I are proud of you, Samantha and your soon to be family. God has you in the palm of his hand, You have been responsible with a little and he will entrust you with more. Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you shall find, Knock and the door will be opened unto you for your heavenly Father delights to give the Spirit to those who ask him. Be patient and he will give you the desires of your heart. God bless you and your family.

The Original Glory

If you are new to Saylaway, welcome. This is my God Blog. Not everyone wants to hear it so I mark it personal. You may slip in and out and go unnoticed or leave a comment. I enjoy dialog. Saylaway has a diverse readership. There are people who know a lot about the Bible and those who know little. I try to have something for everyone. Those who know the Scriptures well are better served if not everything is over explained. I certainly like to spring board off a thought to come to my own conclusions. We do love our own ideas! Those who know little about the Scriptures can look up a topic with a good Bible Concordance .. in fact you can probably google Scripture now ..... I'll have to check into that.

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The main purpose of this blog is a vent for my thoughts and ideas. But also I hope it is a source of good information for folks who stop in and visit. I hope you sense the love, mercy and peace of God and that you leave feeling blessed.

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That said, I promised on my Birdhouse Blog to talk about a technique I am using in an effort to get healthy which includes losing some weight. First I would like to tell you about a problem perspective I was having. I am a perfectionist, born and raised in the Hollywood atmosphere we call America. Our perspectives are the product of illusion and the beauty industry. I look at myself and others through this lens and made automatic judgements based on people's physical imperfections. I was particularly hard on myself which resulted in a good bit of self loathing and hatred. I prayed about this problem and almost instantly I began to see flesh as organic rather then beautiful or not. Just as I would look at trees and identify an oak, maple or willow, people differed in shape and size but I now looked on them (and myself) with the wonder I would bestow on fresh fruit in the market or vegetables growing in the garden.

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With this realization came the obligation to stewardship for what God has given to us. If we want a garden to flourish or our pets or certainly our children and not forgetting our own selves there has to be nurture. Weeds and pests will come up in the garden, the dog gets fleas, we and our children may become overweight, ill or addicted with neglect.

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Certainly if our physical condition affects our spiritual condition then our spiritual condition affects our physical condition and I can't tell you which comes first in any given situation ... the chicken or the egg.

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But I have spent some time in my other blog relating the centrality and worship of God as the beginning of health. And most of beauty is health. If God is in his rightful, primary place in our hearts, if we love and cherish him above all else then all else falls into place. This is an issue of faith or faithfulness. The metaphor that runs through scripture is that of God as the faithful husband married to us, the unfaithful wife. The allusion is sexual. The God who created man and woman, gave them sex, told them to be fruitful and multiply and called it, "good", was creating a tender and passionate illustration of his love for mankind, who, like the woman, was made as a receptacle for God's love. And the woman was tempted and deceived by Satan the enemy of God, and the man followed her willfully into unfaithfulness. This I think is why woman are forbidden to teach/rule over men in the church .... it is a throw back to that forbidden fruit .... the one thing you may not eat ... the one thing you may not do. Or so says St. Paul .... but we don't like restrictions do we? Not even if it is for our own good? Women will rule and men must drool ... over other women. But the restriction is also a command for men to teach/rule in love. Nature is a woman and she abhors a void. But I digress.

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It was the blood of God's only begotten Son, the God incarnate Christ Jesus, that bought his people out from under their new master Satan, and the judgement of hell by paying the penalty for their sin. We receive this salvation, hope and heaven with a simple faith and acceptance but we continue to live in a fallen world with the problems of sin and unfaithfulness in and around us. But, dear reader, we have the promise of Christ that he will never leave us or forsake us. We have his presence now through his Holy Spirit. And it simply follows that if Satan is the prince of the realm of sin, disease and hell then Christ is the Master of goodness, health and heaven. Which kingdom will you prefer to live?

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If Christ is dethroned then our lives are out of kilter. We reap the consequences of living unbalanced lives. Pursuing this desire and that want ... anxiety, resentfulness, complaining, undisciplined with no sense of moderation. But with our Good Shepherd everything becomes simple. Love God .... love your neighbor. Trust God to take care of your needs. Be thankful. If you were invited by a rich friend to come and live on his estate where you enjoyed many fine things would you dare to complain to your generous host? .... yet we feel free to complain at God in the face of all his mercies when he has already pledged himself to take care of us. All we need to do is ask. At the root of complaint is discontent. We are discontented because we do not have something we need or want and it's not God we are wanting it is what he can do for us. So by our complaint we show the unfaithful condition of our heart which has been led astray from the love of God into Satan's camp. Complaint opens the door to much torment. Praise and thankfulness to God opens doors of deliverance and God's kingdom.

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It was when I discovered this that I began to sing and praise much more regularly and avoid complaint like the plague that it is. This led to an overwhelming sense of God's presence, his pleasure and delight in me. Out of my devotional time came personal healing sessions. I would feel God's will to lay me down in quietness and rest. There was a sense of a hand placed upon my chest so that I should lay very still. These times were sometimes long and sometimes short. I did not interrupt them for anything as I would accept all the healing I can get. Am I healed of everything .... no, but I recently took a telephone health survey and realized that I am the healthiest I have ever been. I do attribute much of this to God's direction in the area of diet, vitamins and exercise (faith without works is dead) but also to these episodes of stillness where his calming presence releases resulting healthy hormones into my system. However I would note that negative thoughts may begin to encroach during the stillness much like the grubs that eat the tender shoots in my garden .... squash them like the nasty pests they are. They are the beginning of destruction. Nurture and foster good and wholesome thought .... the love of God.

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Afterwards I would feel rested and satisfied. There would be the absence of hunger, stress and anxiety. I do believe that if I continue in this life style that my body will reflect the condition of my soul since I have placed myself into his hands. He will also prod me into what I should or should not eat. Sometimes there is testing .... Do I love him or my food? I don't always want to put down my fork! But I turn my heart to thanking him for his very good advice which I had asked for to begin with.

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Sometimes he interrupts my business for another quiet session. Anxiety tends to build when we work at something with out rest. We begin to feel faint and then we eat. And I pray for the strength and motivation to exercise. He grants it.

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Finally he has healed my self loathing. He has delighted in me and called me his beloved child. I am not perfect ... I have not arrived .... but I am loved.

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Dear reader, this may not speak entirely to your situation. We are all different .... some are oaks and some are maples and some willows but these are all trees and we are all people. I speak as a woman who is romantic in nature. My name, after all, is derived from the Song of Solomon and the book of Ruth ..... two of the most romantic books of the bible. I expect that God knows my name and my nature and that he will fulfill his purposes for me. And it will be good. Meanwhile, I hope to share whatever helpful information I come across as there are many like me.

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Coming Home

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When I wandered all alone

From his comfort and my home

Ghostly sadness, lonely croon

Barren hilltop, hollow moon.

Dark confusion laid the mist

Aimless wandering, empty fist

How I got here, I don't know

to my loved one I will go.

With my husband I will live

For a ring he will forgive.

~ Melanie Bird

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Dark am I yet lovely .... you have stolen my heart, my sister my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.... your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. You are a garden locked up, my sister my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates ... You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon .... Awake, north wind! and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste it's choice fruits. I have come into my garden, my sister my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk. ~Song of Solomon

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Then the elders and all those at the gate said, "We are witnesses. May the Lord make the woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah, who together built up the house of Israel" ... So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. ~Ruth

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May God bless our marriage relationships so that they reflect the glory originally intended at the creation of all things. Happy Anniversary Today, Josh & Amanda.

Reconfiguring

In a previous post I relayed to you how I came to be on a team to Morocco. I received this e-mail yesterday from the team leader:

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Dear Friends,

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It is with deep sadness that I have to share with you that our Morocco team for this year has had to be cancelled. The Village of Hope where we would have been running our summer camp has been basically shut down by the government. All of the foster parents have been expelled from the country. We are continuing to communicate with them and care for them as we are able, but after talking with others who are still in Morocco our feeling was that it was best not to bring a team in at this time which would draw attention to them. This is a matter for prayer.

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But, we recently took a team to Haiti and are planning to take another team made up of BVBC folks and possibly Media Pres folks to minister there. The needs are incredible still. Anyone who says things are getting back to normal hasn't actually been there. We are working with a wonderful partner there and will have a place to stay and base ourselves out of. Our work will be medical in nature, but we need lots of help to make clinics work. If you love kids, they are everywhere and you'll have great chances to play and minister to them.

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The cost will be somewhere between $1,300-$1,600 depending on airline flights. We are waiting back to hear confirmation of the dates of July 28- August 8. Please let me know if you might be interested in this opportunity. I wanted to let you know first.

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Blessings,

Beth McMillen

Compassion Corps

(610)955-8057

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There was an article in WORLD Magazine with more information about Morocco's crack down on Christians. It took some mental adjustment but I am now headed for Haiti. I have no medical expertise ... in fact I'm down right squeamish but I like kids. This trip is shorter in duration and costs less too.

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To assist me in going to Haiti you may send a donation to; Compassion Corp / PO Box 103 / Chester Heights, PA 19017 Please include a note that your gift is designated to send Melanie Bird. Thanks.

The Cowardly Lion

I have been a reluctant Christian. It seemed to me that I must give up the nearest and dearest things of the heart to take up a cross and follow Christ. I understand the Cowardly Lion ... old 'fraidy cat. Don't like giving up what I really want for all kinds of trouble. Christ did promise us trouble ... it's part of being in the world. But he promised us a lot of other things too. I could read passages like in Ephesians that told me that God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing .... and think, okay .... but I'm looking at some physical need ..... hmmm spiritual blessings .... can you take it to the bank? .... whatever.

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So what are these spiritual blessings and what are they worth? Only the poor in spirit know. Are you crushed under a load of guilt, remorse and shame ... Christ has born your sin and God now calls you his own dear child. Your sin and shame are separated from you as far as east from west. Who can lay any charge against you? You are justified before the accuser. Do evil thoughts and temptations molest your mind? You have the promise of answered prayer .... for you being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father delight to give The Spirit to those who ask and a sound mind too. Do you lack significance and purpose? God has given you a name and a purpose to capture your largest imaginations. Are you lonely, sad or afraid? We have the comfort and companionship of God's Spirit .... it is the best there is.

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And what does he actually ask us to give up? Sin, bondage, a life without him or a life off center. Often he makes us give up something temporarily because it has taken his place and ultimately will bring us ruin. He is not only concerned about the spiritual ... he is concerned about our physical need too. Christ's ministry on earth involved much in the way of healing and provision for he looked on the hungry multitudes and had compassion for them for they were like sheep without a shepherd. Well he knows that physical and spiritual well being go hand in hand. He promises to dress and feed us too and with these we are to be content.

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Last Friday .... it was Good Friday, I went for a walk in the city of Wilmington. It was spring in the city and I walked little side streets where grand old houses stood in brick, shingle and stone .... I looked up at ancient, twisted weeping cherries and down at lawns sprinkled with daffodils .... there were walled and secret gardens where I wanted to look but could not.

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Stopping at one point I looked up at a house on the corner. Somehow I could see myself walking room to room, settling finally into a comfortable chair with needlework in my lap and a view from the window to the outdoors. For some reason this impression would not leave my mind. After all, my life is here. Perhaps it is a glimpse of heaven .... a place I will live some day .... maybe it is an idea to tuck into my back pocket for future renovations to my home .... or maybe someday I will stand in a city in Spain and recognize something that I saw long ago on a back street in Wilmington. Then I thought,"No ... this is something God is offering me now if I want it." Oddly enough this made me cry .... I seem to spend so many of my days with a stiff upper lip. The idea of self denial firmly entrenched in my soul and God tells me, "You can have this if you want it." .... God! He loves me. What reservations can I have about a future with him. Love gives a body courage, and provisions, faith.

The Scarerow

Many years ago I found myself transplanted to Delaware, pregnant (with Caelen) and attending a membership class in a PCA church. Pastor Auffarth (now with the Lord) officiated. He was a broad bald headed man who had played football in college and had a running bet with the congregation that no woman could produce a child more than the 18 pounds he had weighed at birth .... I believe one woman finally had twins and he called that not quite fair.
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In his office was an artists sketch of himself entitled, The General. But since the church was located on Possum Park Road the postman knew him as The Big Possum.

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So there we were in our new situation transferring from the OPC to the PCA running through the familiar church doctrines before joining the church, and I asked Pastor Auffarth a question that had weighed on my mind all that week. I had remembered a situation where I had been annoyed and offended by another woman and all though I had long since forgiven her the memory had brought fresh irritation to me. This made me wonder if I had forgiven her in the first place since apparently I had not forgotten.

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I still remember his answer. He leaned forward over his large desk and said, "You cannot keep the crows from flying over your head but you can keep them from nesting in your hair." .... no that's not scripture but memories are involuntary things. They fly through our thoughts but we do not need to allow them to stay and trouble us. I like to think of setting up a mental scarecrow that will not allow negative thoughts to stay in my mind. Of course this may take more than an act of will. When my mind is besieged with unwelcome thoughts I pray for the Holy Spirit and his peace ... the mind of Christ and the heart of the Father. If I am aligned with the Holy Trinity my way is secure and my thoughts well ordered.

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Dorothy's Scarecrow wanted a brain ..... with the mind comes much pain and trouble. But with the Lord there is peace.