Our Lady of Delaware

A Screenplay

By Melanie R. Bird

Emma's parents died when she and her brother were very young. The children went to live with their aunt and uncle. Some time later her uncle dies as well. These losses impressed Emma in such a way that she came to see life as something that was very hard. She did not expect much from it. Once she graduated high school she attended University of Delaware. Fast forward to her senior year with her roommate Jen.

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Jen Milano (Jeniffer Anistan) is the youngest child of an Italian family from Northern New Jersey. She transferred to UD after an unfortunate college romance. As the baby of the family she is used to much attention .... Emma needs very little. Jen enjoys being with Emma because she remains the center of attention. Emma loves Jen and does not feel the need to compete with her.

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Enter Peter, a young man headed for the ministry. He meets Jen and Emma but is drawn particularly to Emma. Jen loves both Emma and Pete. It seems that they often end up hanging out. Pete sees Jan as someone with needs while Emma requires very little. Emma sees her role with Pete as a helpful one. She believes in his calling and is happy to focus on him and his future. Once they are engaged and Pete has Emma by his side he focuses more on his future too. While Emma is his future wife, Jen is something of a parishioner .... he is a shepherd.

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This begins to be something of a problem for Emma. She tries to draw a boundary line on her relationship to Pete and gently let Jen know that she cannot be the third wheel. Pete ignores the boundary line and one evening ends up going home with Jen. This occurs because they attend a party where Pete begins to drink a bit too much. Emma tries to encourage him to leave but he shrugs her off. After Pete makes an off color joke, Emma decides to head home. Jen offers to help Pete home and they make out before heading back to their apartments.

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The following morning, Jen lies to Emma about the previous night. They head out to classes and meet up with Pete. Emma senses that Jen and Pete are friendlier then usual and then realizes that Jen has lied to her. She stops as Jen and Pete continue, then turns abruptly, walking rather blindly across the sidewalk, over a curb and into the street where she is hit by a car.

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Later in a hospital bed with a broken collar bone, she is visited by Jen. Jen is cute but self centered. She doesn't quite yet realize the extent to which she has hurt her friend. Emma turns her face to the wall. She has nothing left to give Jen ... or Pete for that matter. A sobered Jen retreats to the library for some self examination and a good bit of self reproach. One of the professors, Greg Hughes (Hugh Laurie) observes her distress. He has always liked Jen but respects the student / teacher boundaries. He is thoughtful and kind. He helps Jen overcome a good bit of her momentary self hatred without negating her need to change.

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Pete also has visited Emma and received his ring back. Emma is not an arrogant person. She is simply someone who is easy to take advantage of. She takes up very little space. She is collected by her aunt and returns home to convalesce. They have a beach house. Emma and her brother hang out some .... he loves his older sister and thinks she ought to know that it is okay to receive sometimes.

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Jen and Pete care deeply about Emma and no longer see each other. Greg and Jen do begin to see each other after graduation. Pete heads over to see Emma one more time. He is met at the door by the auntie. Aunt Grace steps out to talk with him on the porch. She wants him to understand that Emma is not the kind of person that asks for anything. She wants him to know that if he is going to be with Emma he will have to look for ways to take care of her. Pete concedes that he was being ignorant but he would like another chance to make it up to Emma. Aunt Grace steps aside and Pete steps into the room to be with Emma who is seated by a sunny window. Coming up beside her, hat in hand, he asks her for another chance to be there for her. Emma is silent for a moment, then asks Pete to pass her reading book on the table.

The Problem of Pain

There are all types of pain. A person in pain should talk to someone. Some folks are rather public with their pain. Some say nothing at all. The problem with every0ne knowing about your grief is too much talk. Not everyone knows how to comfort. I know that, for myself, I generally talk to very few people if any, when I have a problem. Some well intentioned consolation is clumsy and cuts like a knife. I shy away from added pain. So I am quiet.
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The times I was actually helped through grief were almost unexpected. This is what I have learned from my comforters;
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1. Some sorrows require expressions of sympathy .... others require that we mind our own business.
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2. If approached, listen quietly and thoughtfully. The person in pain may need to unburden themselves. Don't jump to "fix" the situation.
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3. If you have experienced a similar grief you may know what to say like no one else does. If you have not, then simply let the person know that you care and so does Jesus. Offer to be available if they need to talk again.
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4. Let your friend know that you will not repeat anything they have confided in you ... and don't ... not even to a spouse without permission.
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5. Love and pray for them.

Bad Company

Bad company corrupts good character. If your eye causes you to sin gauge it out and if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better to enter heaven maimed then to enter hell all in one piece. We may have trouble forgiving but we can also be tolerant of evil. Sometimes in order to live a life close to God we have to live separate from a temptation.

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This could be person, place or thing. Some one, some place or some thing has entangled us in some form of compromise. These things are not evil in themselves. They simply have been the source of some past or current indulgence. Or it may actually be a person we are unable to deal with. Someone who is abusive or knows how to push our buttons .... a perpetually negative, bitter, gossiping or seductive individual. Certainly we should not leave the door wide open for this person to sin against us again and again in a rather lame and misguided belief in forgiveness. Nor should we weakly allow a tempting situation to continue. If we can get out, we should. What do we do when it seems that we cannot get out fast enough?

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All I know is that the scriptures promise that there is no temptation that has seized us which is not common to man and that God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can endure. He can provide a way out. We can trust that. His Spirit can give us peace in the interim. He is also a God of justice. He sees every wrong visited upon one of his children. Like the blood of Abel these wrongs call for retribution. And in this world there have been some heinous sin. The blood of Christ speaks a better word .... perhaps there is even forgiveness for Cain .... but not before repentance.

Comfort Ye

I made tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches tonight. Since I have become almost a vegetarian it is the closest I come to comfort food. Here on the east coast I believe that comfort food must be largely regulated to the winter months. Something about the grey days and the cold discomfort that begins when we set bare feet to cold floor boards and continues throughout the day till we stand over a warm stove and a simmering pot in the evening .... I like clam chowder too. The New England variety.

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Discomfort is not only regulated to the physical but to the soul as well. I think particularly of our sins and errors. Long cold days of consequence convicting the heart and conscience .... guilt whether real or imagined. I remember the pains and purgatories of my past. I remember being sorry and then some. I remember not being able to take it back. I remember not being able to stop saying I was sorry in my prayers ... like a nervous tick or broken record. This was the time and place for comfort. It was Jesus who knew my wrongs ... it was Jesus who paid the price for my sin and set the communion table with his own body and blood .... comfort food .... it is his right and good pleasure to forgive and absolve.

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I cringe for the fallen .... I know it had to hurt. Something inside me feels the pain that I know they will feel ... if not now, then later. I am not for short cuts .... rushing to console before a true conviction of sin. But I would wish to be the one setting you down at my table when you are ready to come home.

Suffer The Little Children

A little one peeks through a hole in the infirmary.

Nurse Aubrey Dell with her favorite patient baby Rose

Nurses Em & Aub with orphans. Our Samura is lower left.

Pastor Aaron's child. Chambrun, Haiti 2010-11

Change Is In The Wind

My finger has been in the wind of late. It is a Holy Spirit wind and a change is coming. Take praise bands. What once was cutting edge has been around now for 20 some years or more. At first we were defensive because the old folks thought guitars in church was a walk on the wild side. But the argument has died back a good bit and a praise band is a rather tame thing unless it gets really loud or heavy metal .... or rap ... which feels a little weird to some, including me (it's a cultural thing). So there is a change coming and I can feel a longing like the sap rising in the spring. It is for that old time religion .... it is the memory of listening to my grandparents sing the hymns of their youth .... On Jordan's stormy banks I stand ... Day is dying in the west. Heaven is touching earth with rest, wait and worship while the night, sets her evening lamps alight, through all the sky. Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of hosts. Heaven and earth are full of Thee, heaven and earth are praising Thee, O Lord Most High ...

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I want to go on .... but it's also listening to Johnny Cash and George Beverly Shea sing the old hymns ... it's Billy Graham crusades .... it's a longing for an age of innocence. It's a longing for the stuff that makes sense. Like fashion ... marry and bury me in the classics .... clothing that makes sense. Is why I like the 30's. There was a spirit of sacrifice ... folks made do. They were practical. I want to go back to that ... but in the now. There is nothing wrong with varying fashion or praise bands for that matter. They are practical and an economy of effort. And the music is wonderful. It's just good to mix it up a little.

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But about the 30's, it is not so much that I am drawn to the the trappings of an era. But these represent the heart of an era. I'm not into what is shocking as though it were synonymous with cutting edge. I want to be into what is good .... what is pure and what is wholesome. I want to go back to when the important thing was to love the Lord with all your heart and mind and soul, and to love your neighbor as yourself. I want to go back to a time when a person made up their mind about how to live based on this principle. Talk about cutting edge .... it would be a healing of the nation and a cut back on wickedness. Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Change is in the wind. ~Melanie

Happy Birthday Jon

Belated ...